I’ve always found innuendos amusing and “That’s What She Said” jokes hilarious, and if they’re being sung, oh boy, prepare for some real giggle-fests. You might say that “hey, I thought you were a feminist who studied media culture- shouldn’t you be offended by them?” My response is that I am still allowed to possess the sense of humor of the average teenage boy, and I don’t find all such songs funny.
Below are the most common metaphors of and illusions to sex I’ve noticed reoccuring in various hip hop, rap, and R&B music. There are a lot of good ones in rock, too, but they’re mostly really angry songs, and that just doesn’t make me chuckle as much. All songs quoted and more are also in this Spotify playlist I created titled “Overtly Sexual Swag.” Definitely NSFW, but you’re welcome.
Peaces and cream… It’s even better when it’s with ice cream/Know what I mean
“Peaches and Cream” by 112
Do you like it well done/ ‘Cause I do it well /’Cause I’m well seasoned if you couldn’t tell
“Carry Out” by Timbaland ft. Justin Timberlake
I’ll take you to the candy stop/ I’ll let you lick the lollipop/ Go ‘head, girl, don’t you stop/ Keep going ‘til you hit the spot
“Candy Shop” by 50 Cent
Needless to say this category is my favorite. Linking appetite for food to sexual desire? Comparing a sexual partner to delicious food? Yes, please.
Ride it, my pony/ My saddle’s waiting/ Come and jump on it
“Pony” by Ginuwine
Yeah, that’s her/ The big dog tryin’ to get her little kitty to purr
“Dangerous” by Akon ft. Kardinal Offishall
Got human enough disguise but my face is a doggy If you loving my bark let me bury my bone
“Slow Motion” by Juvenile
People returning to their primal basic instincts during sex so much that they become a bit less human? You got it.
Girl, please let me stick my key in your ignition/So I can get this thing started and get rollin’ babe/ See, I’ll be doin’ about 80 on your freeway/ Girl, I won’t stop until I drive you crazy/ So buckle up ’cause this can get bumpy, babe/ Now hit the lights and check out all my functions, babe/ Girl, back that thing up so I can wax it, baby/ Honey, we gon’ mess around and get a ticket, babe
“Ignition” (Original) by R. Kelly
Speed and performance, baby. Certainly this is correlation with how husbands joke that their automobiles are their other wives.
4. The Non-Subtle: Play-By-Play Descriptions
Take this pillow right here, grab this/ And I know you’re so excited,if you bite, they won’t hear
“Neighbors Know My Name” by Trey Songz
I wanna li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes/ And I wanna move from the bed down to the down to the floor
“What’s Your Fantasy” (Remix) by Ludacris ft. Foxxy Brown, Shawnna, & Trina
It’s like someone is narrating a porn scene he’s watching in first-person to you over the phone, but of course he’s a bit distracted, so he ends up saying what is happening in a very straightforward manner. Can you imagine if these lyrics are recited in monotone with a straight face? Golden.
There are a lot more examples out there, so please add them in the comments section.
God, I hope nobody finds this post 5 years from now and brings it up in an interview or something.