You may have noticed that I didn’t blog about the last episode “Just Say No” this past week. That’s because I felt like there wasn’t any cautionary tale out of it besides DON’T DO COKE, SERIOUSLY.
If you totally were bummed out by that, here’s this awesome Spotify playlist I found that features every single song featured on the show in chronological order.
Back to this #13 “It’s A Shame About Ray” episode. I have to say this was the most emotionally intense one so far. I cried during the subway scene because it was SO REAL. And I was depressed for about an hour after the show.
I knew that Jessa and Thomas-John’s marriage was doomed from the beginning but their fight was so vicious, and to witness Jessa, who seems to walk through life with a “eh, whatever ha!” attitude, break down so completely was heartbreaking. Hindsight is always 20-20 and I felt that she really thought this could work and it was the best thing to happen to her ever in her life, but now, she has to start all over again, and that sucks.
ANYWAY, onto the “lessons”:
- Don’t invite people to a party whom you know would have potential conflicts– Come on, Hannah. Exes don’t mix well especially with the current partner involved. Anyone with half a brain can tell there are still a lot of remaining feelings between Marnie and Charlie, and his new girlfriend is very volatile.
- Don’t invite unwanted people to events “out of politeness”- It’s your own goddamn party and they might just show up with your permission.
- The more you explain about a lie, the less likely people are to believe it– I love you, Shosh, but you are not good at pretending. Stick to one-liner excuses only!
- It’s important to master the art of backhanded compliments and subtle insults– Don’t lie. You enjoyed watching the catty exchange between Marnie and Charlie’s GF, too. (It reminded me of the reading scene in Pride & Prejudice where Lizzie artfully made it clear to Mr. Darcy that Caroline Bingley is a pretentious cow.) Occasionally in life, we need to throw some shade to stand up for ourselves, something, or someone else. Remember that in an argument, the person who appears less mad is the winner, so work on your poker face and thinking quick on your feet to create incognito offenses such as “So where did you get your headband?” as in because that’s the only interesting thing about you.
- Choose conversation topics wisely and appropriately for the occasion, time, place, and participants– When in doubt, avoid the following because they’re controversial: sex, drugs, violence, religion, politics, and the right way to raise children. Jessa and Hannah covered most of these at the dinner tables.
- There’s no clear universally-acknowledged definition of how a person suddenly becomes an “adult” so stop saying that because it makes you sound immature– We live in a world of teen moms, man-childs, and middle-aged women with Princess Syndrome. No one really knows what “being an adult” means anymore and that can be liberating. However, Hannah, just because you can cook for a small group of people does not make you a grown up, but yes, you should definitely learn on how to write a check properly.
- Cohabitating with a girlfriend or boyfriend is a serious step to take and it’s a decision that should be discussed properly and made together.- Oh Ray. Moving in with someone should never be out of convenience. It’s a huge progress in a relationship. It shouldn’t be done JUST to save money.
- No one can tell you what you need to do for yourself. It’s your life. No one can decide for you because you’re the one who has to live it. – I really do relate to how Type A Marnie is. Go read some books on quarterlife crisis, honey.
- Just like a lot of people end up with the types of partners they never thought they would like, it is entirely possible that you fall in love with a “loser.”– Don’t forget that Ray is Shoshanna’s first serious boyfriend. She’s figuring out this whole dating thing as she goes.
10. In times of need, people would still stand up for those who used to be close but have hurt or betrayed them. – After Charlie kissed Marnie and she told him she’s seeing Jonathan Booth, Charlie called her a cunt in front of Hannah who swiftly came to her defense even though she fully acknowledges that they’re both jerks.
11. It’s tempting to lash out and verbally abuse someone as much as possible in a heated argument, but remember that physical wounds heal eventually yet words remain hurtful a lot longer.– Jessa was offended by Thomas-John and his mom so she decided to just say the meanest things possible out of pure spite. This only made him want to escalate as well and called her “a whore with bad work ethic.” I’m sure years later, they wouldn’t even remember how much the alimony was, but they sure as hell can recall those hateful remarks.
12. Most likely not a good idea to date a guy who pays prostitutes for their services often. – Oh Thomas-John. True story: I actually went on one horrendous date with a man who turned out to be a frequent customer of hookers unknowingly. Yes, in real life. When I heard that after the fact through the grapevine, I was like “Oh that makes so much sense!”
Ugh, I’m so over Charlie and Marnie. Aren’t you?