Pt 3: Strange Advice My Dad Gave Me On Very Important Things In Life

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Today is Father’s Day so I took Papa Lu to dinner at a nice restaurant. Like most parents, he likes to ask his children how our dating lives are going, because we all enjoy answering those questions so so much. I shrugged and joked sarcastically “Well, no one wants to marry me yet, so nothing worthy of note.”

My dad responded with “Maybe you should start listing that on your online dating profiles. Write in ‘I only date to get married.’” My eyebrows went up to the level of are-you-for-real, and immediately saw that yes, he was dead serious.

“…Um no! I’m only 25, Dad. I’ll maybe consider doing that on eHarmony when I’m 35. Or I’ll try being a cougar.” I didn’t even have time to attempt to explain why that will send most 20-something men running in the other direction before my dad started launching into how I could work on different techniques. True to Lu fashion, he had to use analogies.

“There are lots of things you can learn from nature. Female lions usually are the ones who hunt for food, not males. They go in packs. They stalk and observe other animals for hours to see which ones are the best target- the old or the injured ones. And then the lionesses would spilt up and attack the prey from both sides so there’s no escape.” Hmm okay. So I should get some of my girl friends and go pick up guys who are easy by cornering them? Great tips, bro.

He continued as I zoned out. Come on, Dad! The hunter and the prey thing is so cliché. Tell me something new.

“…Or there are other examples, like carnivorous plants. ” My ears immediately perked up. Oh someone stepped up his game.

“Look at the Venus flytrap. It attracts insects with its nectar. But does it strike when the bug is on its edge? No, that will give the fly time to flee. Instead, it waits and lures the prey into the center, and that’s when it goes for the kill.” He gestured with his hands for simulation.

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